Repercussions

I make a lot of mistakes. Normally, it seems like I’m the only impacted by them. I hit the snooze button, so I miss my devotions, so I go through the day without being strengthened by God’s grace. I choose the wrong entertainment, so I end up wasting my time, so I end up missing out on something great because I have to play catch-up with work. When you become a leader, all of a sudden your choices effect others dramatically. I miss my devotions, and now not only do I suffer, but those under me also suffer. I waste time, and others pay the price. I make a bad decision, and the effects ripple out and cause needless extra work for many others. It seems like the impact of a bad choice is exponentially related to the number of people I am leading. This hurts. When I fail, which I do often, I see many people needlessly suffer. They did nothing wrong, yet they pay the price anyway. Bad calls happen. As I’ve grown in experience, they happen less, but they still happen. What is far worse for me (and those I lead) is when I ignore the Spirit’s voice. I’ve been at this long enough to recognize the still, small voice of God. Why, oh why, do I not heed it always? When I do things counter to it based on my own reason or the counsel of flawed counselors (peers or those with a conflict of interest), inevitably I make a grave mistake. And I’m stuck with it. And stuck watching everyone else pay for it.